19 Comments
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Christine S's avatar

I love that your grandmother remained unbowed by what happened. She loved you and your mom fiercely, did what was necessary and refused to let violence define or control your lives. It also really underscores for me the necessity of Art as a mode of healing and defiance and explains why the “Art” of living is a serious and deep matter.

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Ashley Kritzer's avatar

Your grandmother sounds like an amazing woman. That’s always my thought when you write about her, but the care and planning she took to keep you safe as a child was incredible. 🩷

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Daniela Galarza's avatar

Breathtaking. Terrifying. I am so glad you are safe. I am so glad you are here to write these words, and all the others you share in this space and elsewhere. ❤️

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Virginia Chamlee's avatar

Thank you sweet Daniela ❤️ Miss you so much

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

Wow, Virginia this is such a terrifying thing to have looming over you for your entire life! I remember your September article. Sending you and your mom good vibes for healing all of the damage he’s caused. Not all dads are great.

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Risa Edelstein's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can’t even imagine how difficult all of this is. I am in awe of how you’ve taken some of the best pieces of your life and transitioned them into things that seem to bring you joy and things that bring us joy as readers. Thanks for showing up.

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Rhian's avatar

That was such an incredibly powerful thing to read. Your Granny and Mum sound like amazing people

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Hermeshuns's avatar

Such raw, honest writing, thank you. x

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Noora Raj Brown's avatar

A beautiful essay on something so raw. I’m in awe of you. Sending you love ❤️

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Ali LaBelle's avatar

Wow. I don’t really have words—this was incredibly moving and I am inspired by your vulnerability.

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Denise K's avatar

“How I’ve spent a lifetime trying to reconstruct a woman I can’t fully grasp.” 🥹 ❤️

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Francesca McCaffery's avatar

Virginia, you continue to astound me: You are so extraordinary, smart and STRONG. Sending you so much love today…❤️❤️❤️

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Nancy Cavaliere's avatar

Virginia, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to write. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing it. I saw you mentioned your mom has depression and a prosthetic eye — my heart goes out to you both. I don’t know if this would be helpful at all, but I wanted to share something just in case. My friend Belle also has a prosthetic eye, and she has a ton of custom ones. They have some really cool options now, like glitter, color, or even subtle designs. She said it makes her feel happy. Maybe something like that could lift your mom’s spirits a bit too? I’ll send you the info on DM just in case. Sending you both so much love ❤️

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Emily's avatar

This story is so heartbreaking, but your strength continues to amaze me. I wish you, your mom, and all the women he has harmed, continued strength and peace.

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Carolyn's avatar

I hope you do get your day in court, if that is what you need for healing.

Someday you will write a different Father’s Day post about a man who you have chosen to let into your life and created a family with. Love wins; you a proof of that.

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Virginia Chamlee's avatar

Less about healing for me than it is about justice for the women he tried to kill ❤️

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Michelle's avatar

Thank you for sharing this most difficult part of your life. Your courage and strength is admirable and inspiring!

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Wallis Jewelry Connoisseur's avatar

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. You are such a Blessing to your Mother! I was a caretaker for my Mother for a short while. Believe it or not, Jesus has been carrying you as He has been carrying me.

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