Let’s talk about stress, baby
Tips on calming down
I became a caregiver for my mom three years ago. She can’t drive or make her own meals, goes to a lot of doctors and undergoes a lot of medical procedures. She requires a considerable amount of care. So a lot of my life is spent driving to hospitals, sitting in hospital waiting rooms (and working remotely in hospital waiting rooms), talking to doctors, picking up prescriptions…it can feel never-ending. So much so that the first year in, I was having… a lot of moments that could probably only be described as breakdowns. Being a caregiver often means you start neglecting yourself. And boy did I ever. I stopped going to my own doctor appointments, choosing instead to use any time off from work to take her instead, and often neglected my own goals in order to ensure everything was squared away with her.
But you know what? Neglecting yourself only makes the stress worse. Way worse. Fortunately in the years since, I have developed strategies for staying far less stressed out and focusing on myself as best I can, while still ensuring she’s in tip-top shape.
Am I an expert? Absolutely not. I still get stress. Just a little less of it these days.
How I Manage Stress
Sleep: I sleep very well and realize I am fortunate for that. It’s almost always uninterrupted for me, though it’s much better if I add a little boost. Acupuncture gives me some of the best sleep of my life. So do the Goop Knock Me Out chews, which taste kind of like dessert so it feels like a nighttime treat. Also recently started occasionally taking gummies from EarlyBird, which aren’t super strong (they won’t knock you out, but they will make you feel very mellow and at-ease).
Exercise: Maintaining your physical health is essential for maintaining your mental health. For me, exercise is therapy. I work out at least four days per week, often more when I travel. I like starting my workouts in the morning, which helps set the tone for my day (it also helps you make better dietary choices throughout the day because you’re thinking about restoring your muscles and maintaining what you just worked for). If I’m working out solo in my community gym (i.e. not taking a group class), I’ll do 30 minutes on the treadmill at a 12 incline, and then 20-30 minutes of weights (I love the Lindsey Harrod videos).
Nutrition: Not to go completely woo-woo here, but there are many nutritional ways to help ease stress (which is the result of excess cortisol in the body), including your diet. I find that eating a smaller meal at night helps, because it’s easier on my body and helps promote a restful sleep. But having protein in the morning (I always make a shake after my workout, or have at least a banana and peanut butter) is also a great idea. Supplements can also help (but, of course, it’s best to chat with a doctor). B vitamins, magnesium, and vitamin C are often recommended for those under a lot of stress.
Find time for your own happiness: This is the most important thing. You have to be happy or you cannot take care of anyone (especially yourself). What makes you happy? Is it connecting with friends? Is it traveling? Is it cooking? Whatever it is, do it as often as you can, and don’t apologize for it.
Rapid Fire
A movie I watched: May December, a film starring Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore and based on the Mary Kay Letourneau saga. I still don’t know how I feel about this film, other than very awkward. It’s strangely campy, which makes for some laughs, and it proves a point about toxicity (it will also make you feel wildly uncomfortable, which I think is intentional).
An SNL skit worth watching: Just in time for the holidays, what it’s like reconnecting with Old Friends.
An interior I’m lusting after:
And I’ll leave you with this…